That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
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I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
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No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
pray to the hookup gods
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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