We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
