I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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