There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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