Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
