so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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