Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
