i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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