11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
