i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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