Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
