i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
