What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
