Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize