i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
