I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
