I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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