We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i dont even know how to be here
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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