I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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