i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
