I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
