if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
