The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
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He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
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so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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