Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people

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(607): View more from New York

Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.

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(212): View more from New York

Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.

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(815): View more from Illinois

He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(937): View more from Ohio

I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....

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(770): View more from Georgia

Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.

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(226): View more from Ontario

I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.

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