the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
