Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Haym$ered

  (734): View more from Michigan

  turn off your phone and go to bed

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  (248): Haym$ered (734): turn off your phone and go to bed http://tfl.nu/2w37
  Replies (7) Good night (1649) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"

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  (914): when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing" http://tfl.nu/damz
  Replies (27) Good night (841) Bad night (3982)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.

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  (508): We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while. http://tfl.nu/9c2t
  Replies (32) Good night (3955) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"

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  (410): my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts" http://tfl.nu/2c0p
  Replies (14) Good night (3880) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...

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  (513): I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten... http://tfl.nu/iblb
  Replies (50) Good night (3315) Bad night (5943)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine

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  (+44): The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine http://tfl.nu/6flp
  Replies (12) Good night (1194) Bad night (3870)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that

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  (407): I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that http://tfl.nu/57uu
  Replies (6) Good night (4414) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.

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  (518): You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused. http://tfl.nu/8r68
  Replies (2) Good night (3899) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place

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  (310): If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place http://tfl.nu/skdk
  Replies (11) Good night (1875) Bad night (694)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now

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  (604): yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now http://tfl.nu/b5id
  Replies (8) Good night (538) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED

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  (914): So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED http://tfl.nu/nbqu
  Replies (5) Good night (462) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!

  (1-212): View more from New York

  That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.

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  (212): Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?! (1-212): That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready. http://tfl.nu/5w6l
  Replies (0) Good night (620) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.

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  (801): Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey. http://tfl.nu/71bj
  Replies (2) Good night (730) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!

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  (702): HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!! http://tfl.nu/b1io
  Replies (3) Good night (974) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together

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  (585): who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together http://tfl.nu/eon5
  Replies (1) Good night (276) Bad night (134)

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