If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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