you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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