Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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