He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
