I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize