it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Randomize
