There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
