Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
