Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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