My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
