the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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