I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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