First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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