i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
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I don't deserve a penis
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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