I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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