Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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