on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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