He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
