At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think i peed on brittanys purse
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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