I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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