All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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