fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
