If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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