and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
