my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
