He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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