i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
