the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We left the knife in your bed.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
