Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
