oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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