The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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