Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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