Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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