I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
