we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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