i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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