She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
